Using Bars And Clubs To Meet Men – “Pointers For The Single Girls
So obvious, yet in practice tricky places in which to meet somebody. Heaps of groups of folk for sure; but they’re so regularly a mix of males and females in separate groups, so how does one know who is dating who? Making eye contact with someone’s beau in an overcrowded bar could be a pretty silly thing to do. Then again, giant groups of men are a bit of a turn-off. Fuelled by booze and testosterone, are they out to meet someone special, or simply showing off/celebrating the national team’s win/on the pull? And the closer to closing time it gets, a mixture of booze-fuelled goggles and desperation doesn’t make for the most fastidious choice.
And the bloke on his very own? Stood up by his girl maybe, or just drowning his sorrows? He would be fine, but he may be a five star loser. What to do?
When you have spotted someone that looks engaging, take the long or the awkward way round to the bar or the bathroom to get another look. If he looks cute, see if you can catch his eye on your return journey.
If you happen to notice somebody having a look at you, smile gently and hold his eyes long enough to see if he returns the smile or nods in exchange. Don’t look away shortly after smiling — easy to do if you’re kind of shy — or you won’t know what type of reply you’ve had and it’ll have been a waste of time!
Try an informal line like, ‘Have you any idea what time this place closes? ‘ or, ‘l don’t suppose you know a local cab number ‘? ‘ Nothing too cheesy or offensive. A reference to the fact that his flies seem to be undone, whether or not they’re flying at half-mast, will not please the object of your attention!
If you’re feeling truly brave and the coast looks pretty clear, one of the finest techniques is simply to offer to buy a guy a drink. While some men still find this approach too full on for their tastes, a large amount of guys are impressed with an assertive girl.
Another possibility, though generally better towards the end of an evening, when a little Dutch courage could be in order, is to get one of your chums to get speaking to a man that you like and check out, as gracefully as possible , whether he might also have an interest in you. ‘My sister is interested in you ‘ is a strategy regularly used at singles events and is a great icebreaker.
Take the direct approach. It’s often difficult to have a significant conversation in an enormous, noisy, crowded bar, so going up to someone who looks cute, and either asking for his number or offering him yours with a view to having a chat sometime shortly when it is not so chaotic can work wonders. He may very well feel flattered, and appreciate your fairness in not desiring to interrupt either of your evenings with your mates, or make him try and talk in an atmosphere not really conducive to a meeting of minds. It’s bold, it’s brave, but it’s definitely worth trying, and dating gurus like Kara Oh would be proud of you.
Susan Pinner is a dating coach and columnist on subjects like how to attract men, and well-liked dating manuals like Guy Gets Girl.
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