You shouldn’t be shocked to discover that the most effective way to learn more about a girl is to ask her questions. I’ve seen lots of lists of dumb “date questions” for you to ask like “If you could have one super power, what would it be?” but these just come off as awkward routines that don’t really bring the two of you closer together. And they won’t help you get anywhere with the girl.

Don’t waste your brain-space memorizing “date questions”. Instead, just allow a discussion with the girl happen automatically. Guys often memorize stupid questions as a crutch to deal with feelings of nervousness or anxiety that they get. Using a bunch of canned questions will only hinder any real connection between you and the woman.Stop thinking so much and just be aware of what is going on in the moment with you and her. When you start to take a genuine interest in her experience in the present moment, you will never be left guessing what to talk about again.

Too many men also just ask questions that can be answered with a “yes” or a “no”. If this is what you do, stop. This will turn awkward quickly as your conversation starts to feel like an interview.

Do you live nearby? – Yes.

Do you work in the city? – Yep.

Do you have a dog? – Nope.

Are you getting annoyed with all these questions? – Yep.

Open-ended questions are a lot better because they make the girl contribute something personally to the conversation.

What’s your favorite area of town? – I like the XYZ District.  In fact I live there.

Really?  What’s the best thing about that neighborhood? – These’s just so much history in that place!  It never gets boring.yadda …yadda… yadda.

This isn’t anything tough.

Ask the girl things about her life. Try to really see things from her point of view and how she feels. Keep taking things deeper by asking the woman things like “how did you feel when that happened?” or “What was XXX like?”  Also watch her reactions and behaviors when she talks about things.  Ask her questions like “You seemed a little unsure when you were talking about your job. Would you tell me more about that?”  You might even help the woman uncover things about herself that she didn’t even know.

Once you do this a few times, you will start to feel a very extremely strong connection that will make it seem like the two of you are in a bubble, alone from the rest of the world. You might be at the craziest club around, but the two of you will feel like you are completely isolated from everyone else and in a world of your own.

Doesn’t that sound a lot better than “If you were a song, what kind would you be?”

So, please leave the annoying questions to those online surveys your friends send you. Just bring yourself completely to the interaction and allow whatever happens to happen. Start to take a real interst in the girl and get to know her as a real person.Go ahead and ask her anything, as long as you actually care about her answer.

If you liked this article, please also check out how to pick up women, ask questions to a girl, and how to start a conversation with a girl.

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