Flirting is basically a means to identifying potential partners, and establishing compatibility. There are many circumstances, for example a wedding or party, where flirting is the only way to create a romantic liaison with someone you don’t know and might otherwise never see again. As a result of all of this, flirting is an essential skill, and it’s one that makes many people nervous. While there is an art to flirting, it is possible to learn the art. Here are some pointers.

The Path To Success

1. Lower your expectations. Flirting will be great fun, provided you don’t take it too seriously. A lot of the time, you’ll just flirt with someone for a brief time and then possibly never talk to them again. You’re heading for disappointment if you expect your flirting to always result in a date with the person you’re flirting with – and you’re going to appear more than a little desperate. Remember, you’re only flirting.

2. Look approachable. Stay calm and smile. Use your body language to give signals that you are the fun person that you are, and to show that you’re comfortable and confident. There’s no need to be nervous.

3. Read body language. Does the person appear approachable? Do they appear interested in you? The second you spot someone who you might want to flirt with, you should read their body language. When you’re actually flirting with the person, the only way of telling how interested they are in you is by their body language . We all have a natural ability to read body language, but it’s easy to misread signals, so be careful and take it slow. If there is any indication that the person is interested in you, keep a look out for any signals that confirm that.

4. Make contact with your eyes, but only for a moment or two. Don’t Stare. Gaze briefly at the person, smile with your eyes, and then look away slowly. When you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes, then they’re likely interested in flirting a bit.

5. Initiate a conversation with the person you’re interested in. When you don’t know them just indulge in small talk. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: “Nice day, isn’t it?” or “This place sure is packed, eh?” are just two examples. It isn’t important what you say. You don’t really need an answer to the question; you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. If the person’s response is pleasant, then continue the conversation. If you struggle to extract a response or if the person appears preoccupied or disinterested, then they’re most likely not interested in flirting with you. Avoid reference to anything personal at the start of your chat. Talk about the environment around you, the show you just saw, etc., but resist the temptation to talk about yourself and don’t ask them personal questions.

6. Slowly share information about each other. If the chat is going well, then volunteer a little information about yourself – nothing too big maybe how you earn a living or your favourite tv show, are good examples. There will be a point, however, when you will want to introduce yourself and, with a bit of luck, discover the other person’s name. In order to share information it is essential that you both slowly open up. Alternate between the two of you when talking, and each time the other person volunteers some personal information, reciprocate and try and give slightly more personal information than they did. As an example, say you’re talking to a girl who tells you that she’s taking summer classes, you might want to share that you’re also taking summer classes, and then go on to tell her about the class which excites you most. This gives her an opportunity to tell you more about herself. In this way, the intimacy of the conversation increases in time. Never share too much about yourself too soon, and don’t encourage the other person to do so either.

7. Grant the person your complete attention. Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don’t get distracted by what’s going on around you. Try not to hog the conversation, it’s more important that you appear interested than you appear interesting. Good listeners are far more likely to enjoy successful flirting than witty people.

8. Allow your body language to give a clue as to your romantic intentions. If things are progressing well, you might want to attempt to break the touch barrier. Touch his or her arm briefly and gently as you talk. Alternatively you could be more assertive and hold the person’s hand when you cross the road, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. The personal space barrier can be broken by touching in this way. Watch out for red flags, as some people have issues about their personal space, and its better if you don’t make them feel uncomfortable. It’s generally more acceptable for a woman to touch early in a conversation than it is a man. Many women feel a little threatened when a man they just met enters their personal space, while most men are more open to being touched. Always proceed with caution, and back off if the signs from the person are negative or mixed.

9. Seal the deal. Most flirting is just harmless fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Once in a while, you’ll encounter someone you’d really like to see again, and who seems to want to see you again too. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe even your future spouse. Don’t get carried away, it’s not time to make wedding plans just yet, simply start by getting their phone number. This can be really hard for many people, because you have to show your hand and consequently risk rejection. Be brave. Tell the person you’d like to see him or her again, and just ask for their phone number or, if it feels right, try to set up a date for some future time. Don’t push it if the person’s not interested. Don’t despair, there will always be another guy or girl to flirt with.

This article covers tips for women who want to know how to flirt with men, but this advice can also often be more than useful to men flirting with women.

Take This Advice

* What you say is not over important (provided it’s not totally stupid), but it is vital that you keep your conversation positive. Try hard not to be negative, arrogant, or pushy; simply be friendly.

* When you first start talking with someone, don’t aim to flirt. Make it your goal to have a conversation. This takes a lot of pressure off both of you.

* Do not chase anyone if they are not interested. Walk away if the person doesn’t seem interested. They could react negatively if you assume that they’re playing hard to get and become too pushy.

* Compliments can go a very long way. It’s a fantastic idea to pay the person a compliment while you’re talking, but only if you mean it, and avoid embarrassing compliments (about a woman’s figure, say).

* If you don’t feel comfortable asking for their number, try giving them your number. If they are really interested in you they will give you a call. Why not give them your email address, allowing the conversation to continue without any pressure.

Be Warned, There Are Pitfalls!

* Do not flirt with someone who you’re convinced that you’re not romantically interested in, period. Or else, you take the risk of leading them on, which could cause some embrassment and make future interactions uncomfortable. But never forget that you’re not getting married, yet. Flirting is like compliments, in that it should have a kind of sincerity attached to it. If you see any sign at all that the person is interested in you, pay close attention for other signs that confirm this.

* Only flirt as is appropriate to the setting. Holding down a conversation would be difficult if you met at a library or disco, for example. In this case, smile, act interested, and wait for a spontaneous opportunity to meet at the punch bowl or in the lobby. Do not, however, appear to be a stalker or you will definitelt put them off.

* Flirting is not appropriate everywhere. As an example, it’s not a great idea to flirt at funerals. Flirting at work is not really on. If you happen to flirt at work, be on your best behavior, and don’t press the issue if the other person isn’t interested.

* Making jokes is usually a great way to flirt with people, but don’t use humor that could offend your flirting partner. Though dirty jokes often spring to mind when flirting with someone, they really have little or no place in a conversation and can result either in the person being turned off or in an awkward silence, killing the mood and making you feel embarrassed. Choose your words carefully, and remember, it’s not necessary for you to be funny all the time.

Related articles:

• Discover How To Flirt With A Girl And Score!
• Be Single No More, Learn How To Flirt With A Guy
• A Guide on Flirt with Women.