The pangs of separation must have been terrible. Nothing looks the same for you anymore. Your world seems to have turned upside down but your former lover makes you feel that there is still that spark between you. But the fact is that the relationship is as good as over.

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Take control of your emotions and be rational about your split. Know that a relationship without commitment is a disaster. Understandably many people are stuck in such a situation that could prolong long after the break-up and then you gain nothing out of it. You are neither here nor there in this relationship. At best you may be considered just another friend, nothing more.

Strangely enough, this is not very rare.  But what is not good is that this can continue for a quite a long time, with no results.  You have a raw deal there, sometime friend sometime love, kind of thing.

So is your old love straight with you?

Is your ex flame doing this for personal gratification?

Watch out for the following if you feel that your ex-lover is just using you:

Your old love, not just stays in touch but wants you do chores for them even if there is someone else in their lives now.

In most cases, your former lover does not want to let you slip away and he or she are taking advantage of how you feel.  This situation is not unusual and in most cases the person loves the all the attention he or she is getting.

– Your old flame is getting a kick out of making you do what he or she wants without any commitment on their side.  It can be hard on you.  Remember, you are being used as a stop gap.  So don’t let that happen.

– You may rush to their aid when they need it but you are alone in your hour of need. They all have some silly excuse to wriggle out and this should open your eyes to see the reality. In this relationship you get nothing, you only give.

– You may rush to their aid when they need it but you are alone in your hour of need. They all have some silly excuse to wriggle out and this should open your eyes to see the reality. In this relationship you get nothing, you only give. 

There are times when your former lover might not know what exactly he or she wants.  A lot of people don’t like to say they have made a mistake.  Your former lover might still care for you but he or she might think that there was a judgment error and they don’t know how to proceed.  So bring it all out into open and ask.  If he or she is not misleading you, then you will get at the truth. 

In a number of cases your old lover does not want to take a call on this relationship and is divided about it.  In such circumstances, the decision will be one which makes them feel good about themselves.  For instance, they will ring up and say that you are missed and immediately back off saying that you are trying to attract them.  They will say that they are looking only for friendship.

However, asking them about this charade that they are engaged in might not be the right thing.  It might be a something they are not conscious of.  This is a sure sign of their mixed up thinking. So the big question is, do you want to get back with you old love?  Would the reverse also be true? You need to have an action plan to get your old love back.  Otherwise you might find yourself in the “friends only” place for the rest of your life. Mercifully, there is an answer.

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